I am sulking today and I'm going to tell you how it's working out for me in a second. But first, the entertaining part...why I'm sulking today. The main thing is the $1,000 phone bill from AT&T for 3250 international texts with no international data plan. That's right, there is no typo. Now times that by 20 cents per text and you get the idea. Add a couple of monthly subscriptions to get the latest celebrity dish, etc. and how about accessing the internet from a regular cell phone, again with no data plan? It's adding up isn't it? Do I need to tell you that I did not run up these charges? So there's that and there's also having to face dealing with the underlying issue because no one else is grabbing that bull by the horns. You get to a point sometimes where there's no way out, around or over - you just gotta go through it. Then there is the incredibly painful hangnail. What a big fat whiny baby, right? It's on the outer side of my right thumb and is greatly impacted by my typing...so it's sore and throbbing a little. Kind of ridiculous so far, right? Well I don't want to delve in too deeply and find other issues to sulk about so I decided to just take these two and run with them for today. How's it working out for me? Well I'll tell you what--sulking is never a good thing. Sulking is never a good thing because more often than not it keeps you doing something else that would be far more enjoyable, healthy, uplifting, productive, helpful, and on and on. However, the one tiny little aspect of sulking that you can make work for you if you've decided that you absolutely must take this time to sulk IS if your sulky mood draws you inward to the root of what's really irking you. Know why? I'll tell you why: because then you are working out what's really going on inside you and once you identify the issue(s) you're all set up to deal with them. Of course you can sulk away and then put them back in the boo boo box to be taken out another day and while you're at it you can beat yourself up and lament the other things you aren't getting done. But if you want to make this sulking thing work out for you then give yourself the time to experience what's eating you and follow it to it's root then resolve to dig it out as best you can. That is how my sulking is working out for me today.

About learning to F-L-Y

Another note from earlier this week - I sent to someone who calls herself The FlyLady. If you've never heard of her google her up and check out her scene because I won't go into all that here - but, in a nutshell - she's the patron saint of harried homemakers trying to keep it neat, keep it clean, keep it healthy, keep it real, and maintaining domestic tranquility even when Mr. Murphy comes to stay for a while. I will explain this though: FLY stands for F inally L oving Y ourself.

So the point is that I re-discovered The FlyLady recently and started reading the prompts and following the daily routines (for the most part but that's ok, it's really ok) and have been quite pleased with the progress made on clearing clutter, going back to basics, keeping it simple, and staying sane in a sometimes chaotic household. The FlyLady encourages all of us to let her know how we're doing and the other day after I followed the prompt and cleaned out my purse and the inside of my care I emailed to let her know that and to tell her how happy I am to be back in the FLY-fold.


Dear FlyLady,

I'm a boomerang flybaby, having discovered you nearly ten years ago sometime between when my son and daughter were born. I was working full-time at the time and just couldn't keep up. I know, I know, that's not the point. It took quitting my full-time job a few months ago along with renewed determination to get control of my house and make it a home again to lead me back to the FlyLady.

I started about a week ago and have been amazed at how the number of de-cluttered areas is adding up so quickly. I ordered my FlyLady supplies -- had to have 'em to get the jobs done right! They arrived yesterday -- rubba dubba scrubba x2, purple cloth sets x 4, feather duster -- I love that puppy already!!, and more! I've been shining my sink, drinking my water and keeping everything moving in a positive direction thanks to you!
Thank you!!

CJ from northern VA

Greatest Gift/Greatest Love

I don't know why it's taken me so long to sit down and write this - but my Mom called earlier this week, no surprise, to thank me for the Easter card I sent, customary, and we got into a chat about this n that and she blows me away by saying "You have never disappointed me Cynde". Talk about speechless; this is only the best compliment I could have ever dreamed of from my dear sweet Mommy. I am still sort of floating a bit when I think about what all that means. I'm no spring chicken now which means I've had a lot of years and opportunities to disappoint. Like everyone else and their mother we've had our ups and downs but she was talking big picture - big girl, real life stuff....and I am just still so honored by the sincerity with which she said it. And I got her to repeat it for good measure, hee hee.

I said "Mom, you never have to utter a complimentary word to me again. Nothing tops the gift you just gave me. Thank you, Thank you!!"

What do I want to do next, they asked.....

Had lunch with two dear friends who I see far too little of, mainly when one of us has a professional excuse. Both were eager to ask me "What do you want to do next?" I didn't have an answer and that is becauuuuuse......I'm doing it. In other words I want to be doing what I'm currently doing which is whatever I want! 'nuff said, right?

So in answer to the question "what happens when you've sewn new covers for all of your porch pillows," I'll have to guess that there will be more classes to teach, more kids' field trips to chaparone, more yoga to practice (heyyyyyyy to Olga @ http://www.aligningwithgrace.com/ ), more books to be read, pictures to be painted, gardens to plant, roses to smell.....and I'm doing it as much as and as long as I can.

I am not declaring that I will never again be gainfully employed either full-time or part-time (why? 'cause my mama taught me to neva' say neva', LOL) but I received a clear message from YOUKNOWWHOTHEMANUPSTAIRS telling me that he wants me at home, doing what?, minding home and hearth. So I'm listening and following instructions.

:P to those of you who think I rebel against authority and despise instructions. Ha!

So I'm working on these gosh-darn cushion/pillow covers (Mr. Singer is rolling over in his grave I know it- for abusing his machines!), to make the front porch super pretty for Spring and Katherine's First Holy Communion and then I will focus on getting all of my hanging pots planted up with pink flowery stuff and then I'm going to have a Pink-Themed Girls' Night and serve those yummy pink grapefruit drinks we all liked on Pinterest, but before that I'm going to do some work out back on the patio and get the flower beds back there all planted up nicey for my BFF's maybe with some of those adorable solar powered light strings that hung up in the umbrella (thank you Fernando there will be no little garden lamps for you to chew!) I just had an idea - maybe the Pink Ladies' Night will be a mini fundraiser for the Georgetown Lombardi Cancer Center - and I will use Brian Orakpo's pink shoes to collect money in (this is another story that I will share but I have BO's practice cleats from last Oct (which is breast cancer awareness month hence he was wearing hot pink) that I bid on and won in a silent auction for the benefit of the Lombardi Center....

Sounds complicated doesn't it? I've been accused of living a life that is a reality show....if there's interesting stuff to do and juggle a million things at a time* and things to learn the hard way (and laugh about later) I am right there in the middle of it - this is true!


Back to the Porch and the Patio - getting that all prettied up for the tiny little reception I'm pondering to honor the occasion of Kate's First Holy Communion. Once that's done - excellent opportunity for a Pink Ladies' Night.....not to worry - the food will not be pink, just the ladies and the drinks!!

*btw, I have another post brewing about multi-tasking gone bad.....

So all that rambling and side-bar stuff being said, I'm doing what I want to do next - this is real stuff I'm doing while I appear to be staying at home doing nothing....that is - getting in touch with my inner domestic goddess; having spontaneous fun with my amazing children; getting my art on; connecting with people who I LOVE to be around (see above @Olga the yoga teacher!); and letting my ADD mind be quiet enough to hear what else God has to tell me. Have a terrific Spring Break if you're Spring Breakin'. Happy Easter if you're celebrating.

And please comment if you agree, disagree, aren't sure that I'm playing with a full deck or not, etc. THANK YOU!!!

Yin Yoga Anyone?

I just returned from a Yin Yoga session. What is Yin Yoga? Well to be honest, "Reading about yoga is like reading a menu when you are hungry: interesting, maybe even mouth watering, but until you actually partake of what you are seeing, your need will not be quenched." (quoted from YinYoga.com) But essentially we moved through a series of poses S-L-O-W-L-Y, holding each for up to five minutes.

One result, among others is the unbelievable quieting of the mind. I know for a fact this is the very first time I went through an entire class and did not speak at all! All of the poses were very familiar to me (although they're called different things in Yin) so it was not a problem to hold them for 5 minutes. What good is this uber quieting of the mind when there are always a million things to be done? The good is in the fact that it's the polar opposite of multi-tasking your brains out...or until your brain is fried to a crisp.

In the quiet mind state if we consciously push away distractions we put ourselves in a perfect place to just listen and observe and there is much to see and hear. Everything from discovering where you're holding stress inside with clenched muscles in the back and neck to calmly figuring out what your priorities should be for the day, or beyond.

With quiet minds we're receptive to what God is trying to tell us that he wants for us. It took being sick for a couple of months to slow me down to the point of figuring out that I should take a break from working and focus on home and hearth. That was a big message that it's easy enough to push out of your mind as impossible, impractical, you name it. But I prayed about it and I was convinced that He meant for me to do it so I took this leap of faith and here I am. What's really important to me though is the repeated practice of quieting my mind so that the messages don't get jumbled. Everyone has "off" days and this mind quieting is one way to get myself back on course.

One other cool aspect here is that this different yoga practice comes as a result of my teacher having a life changing moment and making decisions on how to proceed in a way that brings her peace and happiness. http://www.aligningwithgrace.com/ See how we're all connected? Her reaching a new level of joy in her teaching coincided with my need for more effective ways to quiet my mind and remain in the present. I love this....I envision it as that we have an intertwined purpose....and we are connected to many people in similar ways. It's a beautiful thing.

Peace!

Soccer Practice in 7 Hours....What to Do 'til Then?

The house is clean. The coast is clear. I can crawl back upstairs now the cleaning crew is gone. I think I feel like working outside for a while. There's loads to do if I want to get the back yard looking anywhere decent. Right now it's a dog habit-trail which Fernando the Wonder Dog (FWD) has been systematically destroying since he arrived a little over a year ago. Bless his heart....

The big deal right now is there are weeds to pull and some dead stuff to clear. Then what to do about moving the bearded iris, all of it, to the back of the yard near the fence. That opens up space where I could plant my lettuce crop that I'm hoping will survive Fernando but I'm guessing he will be fond of the lettuce. Once this is done I can start thinking about flowers and I'm going to plant flowers and I'm going to figure out a way to keep FWD from trampling and eating them. So there. Wish me luck!

About to Enter Week #4

I've been "semi-retired" for a full three weeks now and the time has flown by. Things are starting to happen around Casa Clarke too, I'll tell you. In the spirit of "things have to get worse before they get better" there is significantly more clutter at the moment but that is because most of it is on it's way out to a new home or waiting to be placed in it's new permanent home (like my scrapbook gear and the sewing machine, remember the sewing machine? It's still in the dining room!**

So how does it feel???? Baby it feels GOOOOOOOOD! My desire to get things done has returned and I feel like I'm in charge of my life once again....can you spell L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G?

I'm also still a little in awe of the fact that my "getting organized/purging/lord, the whole house is a junk drawer feeling that it would take several months of time off to accomplish the clean-up has become a reality...
Oh, I'll be as busy as ever but doing things that I WANT TO BE DOING, THAT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD, THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THE PERSON I TRULY AM!!! So if that means knitting all afternoon - so be it. I have two baby blanket projects (crochet) commissioned and the (absolutely fabulous, gorgeous, and delicious) yarn has come in - what am I waiting for?

Not that there haven't been times when I've come close to having second thoughts about my retirement from the fast lane. As a matter of fact, I had a "moment" in Steinmart on Friday when I happened upon the cutest dresses that would be perfect to wear to the job I no longer have. Luckily I had a friend nearby so I could go over and confess that I had the "moment" and laugh it off and move on vs. stewing about it. By the way had a lovely time shopping on Friday mainly for clothes for my "new life" lol.....have to stock up on garments other than dress slacks, skirts or yoga pants!!

Seriously, one of the many things I'm very thankful for also is that I've not only accepted but embraced the idea that breaking big jobs down into manageable tasks is the way to go. The old me would not have plunged in but instead stayed stuck on how many storage bins do I need and how will I ever afford a million storage bins??

To close I'd like to send a shout out of thanks to the lovely people who are members of the Cascades, VA Freecycle group - you all rock - I've found great new homes for some of my beloved but no longer needed treasures and have gotten some really cool stuff that I put to good use...from lightbulbs to a faux leather jacket for Jackson to cleats for when I was "coaching" mini-soccer and bye bye to the Little Tykes Kitchen, the toy BarBCue that talked (so obnoxious...unspeakably obnoxious), the dollhouse, bag of childrens' books, Med Size Legos, etc. all gone in a few hours.

I'm also grateful for the opportunity to meet one of the teachers from the jr. high school that Jackson will be going to...how fortuitous since she teaches English and he loves to write!


**Yep the sewing machine is waiting for me to take down the bathroom curtain that continues to mock me because even after I took it apart and restitched it, it still hangs a little bit crooked. And you know I have to Chester up up and fix that sucker, right?

Speaking of the sewing machine..I'm contemplating the totally ridiculous...re-upholstering a sofa and love-seat all by myself. To say that that the deceased members of the Singer family are rolling over in their graves whenever I take out my machine is an understatement...but I think I can pull this one off. My desire to achieve it will surpass all obstacles (and lack of sewing talent and ability to do anything in a perfectly straight line....tune in next time for the next segment of "Cynde tries Upholstery"